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    By The Woman's Editor
    Sorcha Blaine

    Wedding Belle Blues
    
    It's the extinction thing that bothers me most
    -- The stamp of one name blotting out the life that existed
    before it 
     
     -- Ms. Sorcha Blaine nee Jones -- The previous identity
    is noted as a courtesy, if at all.
     
    Eventually, the new identity becomes a reference point: "
    My wife." "My spouse." 
    This builds to include possessions: "Our house."  "Our luggage."
    And affiliations: "Our neighborhood. "  "Our club."
    There are exceptions: "My car." "Your phone calls."
     
    At times the exceptions are used to hurt: "Your son."  
    "My mother."
    
    I'm an expert at understanding all this since I've never been 
    married.-- My motto is "Always the bridesmaid, never and bet  
    your freaking life on this! - the bride."
    
    AISLE BURN
    
    The first time I was a bridesmaid was at my sister's wedding. I 
    was 9 All the adults around me cried so I cried, too, but I wasn't 
    really sad her marriage meant I got the bedroom at home all to 
    myself, now. Room for Barbies everyplace!  
    
    Through my tears of joy at Barbie-space, I watched my sister
    and her boyfriend become the first people I knew to change
    from not married to married -- Over the next few years, I found 
    out  that husbands really didn't have to grow up if they didn't  
    want to --Wives could say anything to husbands so long as   
    the husbands had been bad first -- Husbands kept all the 
    money and spent all the money-- Wives spent all the money
    the husbands made and needed more --Husbands couldn't
    have as  much  fun as they used to have before they got 
    married  -- Wives couldn't rely on their husbands to be home
    at a decent hour -- Divorce was bad for the kids.
    
    MILES OF AISLES
    
    I've been a bridesmaid at many more weddings -- I've walked
    down a lot of aisles -- Sometimes I could see the car accident 
    waiting ahead of me and sometimes not - I've lived through the 
    courtships, engagements, broken engagements, marriages and
    divorces of dozens of friends -- I've held sweaty palms during
    child custody battles and child support arbitrations --  I've
    experienced first-hand the thrill of victory/agony of defeat
    over a once-loved spouse as s/he is handed a plainly un/fair
    decision by a judge.  I've seen it all --  Remarkably, and maybe
    this was just a twist of fate, I was always on the side of the
    good guys.  
    
    My earliest lessons about marriage didn't change much over time 
    -- I do have a few tips about weddings to pass along, though:
    
    NEVER use velcro instead of buttons to fasten bridesmaids'
    dressses
    
    ALWAYS stipulate the use of air conditioning in a church 
    for an August wedding
    
    NEVER give your bridesmaids cheap jade earrings that 
    can get sucked down the best man's windpipe if he gets romantic
    with her,
    
    ALWAYS keep the number of an ambulance handy
    
    NEVER give the number to the groom
    
    ALWAYS keep the number of a divorce attorney handy
    
    FOREVER lasts longer when you hate someone than when you 
    love them.  
    
    FEED Back to this article
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